One of my biggest fears is that I won’t be able to have my own children. I have no basis for my fear except that having children is one of my heart’s biggest desires. Let’s be serious, I am nowhere near even thinking about having children, but reading about Sarai’s & Abram’s struggles brought this fear to the forefront of my mind. Imagine being so desperate to have children that you suggest your husband sleep with your servant. Abram sleeps with Hagar, Sarai’s servant, and she becomes pregnant. Tension, resentment, contempt build up and Hagar runs away. An angel appears and asks her, “Hagar, Sarai’s servant, where have you come from, and where are you going?” She replies, “I’m running away…
The angel obviously knows where Hagar came from and is going in a geographical sense. That isn’t what is being asked. The angel is reminding Hagar to remember her faith in God. Her roots in God. She came from God and needs to go to God with all of her struggles.
My answer to life is so often to run away. Just like Hagar. I loose sight of God. I forget all of the times He has taken care of me. I fear being turned away. I’m aware it is an irrational fear. I will never be turned away just as no one else will. God’s love, grace, compassion, direction, provision…it is all there for the taking for anyone who asks.
Hagar returns to Sarai and Abram and births their child. He is named Ishmael which means “God hears.”
Hagar didn’t need to run away from her troubles. She just needed to talk to God, because as her son’s name reminds her, “God hears.” God took care of her. She was able to face her life with God's help.
Today, I choose to talk to God instead of running away. Instead of enveloping myself in the media, daydreaming, dwelling on the past, worrying about the future, or wishing I were a better version of me I will just talk to God about how I’m feeling. There is peace in talking to God. I’m going to find peace today.
“We need to learn to express our pain to God instead of just trying to escape it. He hears our cries and is willing to give us hope for the future.”
- NLT Life Recovery Bible
No comments:
Post a Comment